SoOo it’s date night…My girlfriend finally convinced me to allow her to set me up on a blind date- with her boyfriend’s third cousin. Random, no? Maybe not the matchmaking aspect (playing cupid is kind of her thing), but more the fact that I actually said yes. As single as I am, one would find me foolish not to jump at the opportunity to have a trusted friend referee romantically for me… But truth be told, I’m more the “prefer to have things transpire organically” type when potentially linking romantically. Listen, I’m a total chick and (especially when pertaining to matters of the heart) prefer being chased. The thought of my friend finding two lonely souls (yet again) that she thinks shouldn’t be romantic orphans any longer and uniting them just makes us both sound desperate- and I most certainly am not desperate! (Just terribly selective…) So, after months of pestering me over this (seriously since June, when he first moved to New York from California) the other day I finally caved and agreed to at least meet him for a cocktail.
Like I don’t have enough anxiety in my love life when fixing to look my best for the random super hot guy who called me three days after he bought me a dirty martini while cavorting the West Village for after work drinks. Now, I have double the pressure as I’m dressing for a mystery man (according to my friend he’s perrr-fect for me, whatever that means). What does he look like, what does he think I look like, what type of girl is he looking for, should I wear a dress or jeans or slacks, blouse or sweater, is he more LES or UES, should I blow my hair out or set them in curlers, French manicure or Midnight In Moscow by OPI manicure, how tall is he- should I wear kitten heels or killer pumps, does he support PETA- should I not wear fur, red lips or a smoky eye- if he’s cute I’ll want to kiss him, but won’t be able to do so with a red pucker, but red lips are my signature feature and how do I go about meeting someone new (platonic or other) not in my staple beauteous statement?! And these are just a few of the questions and thoughts running through my mind as I drink my third cup of coffee in hopes the caffeine and Madonna album (circa Immaculate Conception) I just put on will inspire my creative mind in choosing an outfit that says “I am sexy, confident, smart, successful, awesome, quite the catch and regardless of whether or not we continue to date you won’t be able to tell I live with cats and have a pretty sweet collection of spider plants.” Right, so clearly I have my work cut out for me…
Not to go off on a tangent, but ugh- the infamous three-day rule… I just don’t understand it. After a night of consumption why wait three days- the next day we ladies can barely recollect the entire night before and now these guys expect us to remember their face AND name. Seriously?! Ok, so guys want to look “cool” by waiting, but how “cool” is it when they finally decide to ring us days after and we don’t remember who you are? Right. Exactly. Point proven. Enough with the nonsense fellas, if you’re into us just call the next day! Period.
Now back to the task at hand… After six cups of coffee and hours of rummaging through my closet I finally found something! Thank the high heavens, as I almost cancelled on the poor lad because due to the excessive amount of caffeine in my system I developed a slight twitch and am suddenly in a horrendous mood.
Eek, blind dates… My nerves have officially gotten to me and being that I have 6 hours till I see this mystery man of my dreams I think I’m going to take a 4 hour bath and sip on a glass of chardonnay. (But, just one glass- the last thing I need is to be known as the “vomiting twitcher”.)
That being said, I’m off to relax- I’ll let you know how the date works out!